


I Wish More Then Anything

by livingwithmermaids



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Wants to Say Yes, Episode: s05e18 Point of No Return, M/M, Sad Dean, Suicide attempt?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 18:49:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4360316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingwithmermaids/pseuds/livingwithmermaids
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean thinks about why he wants to say yes to Michael</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Wish More Then Anything

**Author's Note:**

> Season 5 episode 18 Point of No Return
> 
> I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday. I know people might not know or care but Louis Tomlinson is rumored to be a dad and it kind of shocked me because I really, really ship Larry Stylinson (Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson look up the ship it's adorable), and it was the only ship I really truly thought was real and it kind of freaked me out to the point where I didn't want to post anything. It's a stupid excuse for not posting so I apologize for that. Thanks for reading.

Dean wasn't really sure want he was trying to accomplish when he went to go say yes to Michael.

It could have been a number of things. It could have been that he want the angels on his side for once. He could have wanted to punish his brother in some stupid, self-destructing way. It could have been that he just wanted to end. But he knew deep down that the answer was much darker.

He just wanted it to end. All of it. He wanted someone, anyone to take control, whether it be Lucifer or Michael, he didn't want to be around to see the end result. He wanted to die.

He tried so hard to push the thought down. He tried to be optimistic about getting rid of the devil and avoiding the angels, but he couldn't help the small glimmer of relief he had knowing that giving Michael his consent was always an option.

The thing that really scared him however, was the fact that he thought about Sam not more than three seconds before he made his decision.  _Do I care that this will hurt Sam? No._ He could care less that Sam, the guy who now insisted they sleep in the same bed with Dean being the little spoon, would feel absolutely devastated and betrayed if he said yes to Michael. But that didn't matter. Not anymore.

If Castiel hadn't come when he had, he would have gone through with it.


End file.
